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Me (online): guy_from_Mulholland_Drive_walking_behind_Winkie's.png

Me (offline): guy_from_Mulholland_Drive_after_seeing_creepy_derelict_behind_Winkie's.png

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Me (to English department): "... And that's why although "Titus Andronicus" appears to deploy an unremarkable power dynamic rooted in a gender binary, the play cleverly subverts and complicates those opposing forces in ways long overlooked in its critical appraisal."

Me (to barber): uh, like a "normal cut" I guess, like half as long or something? I'm not sure what you mean by "shape."

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Fellas: make out with your goth gf in the beautiful autumnal cemetery of *her* choice. This isn't about you.

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The One Where They Discover Joey Has Saved His Teeth from Childhood and Keeps Them in an Urn Inscribed "In Loving Memory"

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If I was a performer in a heavy metal band, I would periodically smile and point at a person in the audience in apparent recognition, but here's the thing: I would just be pointing at nothing and no one

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"this ain't my first rodeo!" -some show-off at their second rodeo

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Just called this talented young boy on the teevee "you Norman Rockwell-ass lookin' kid", like a normal adult

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Outlaw Cop: He is an outlaw. He's also, a cop. Can you handle this duplicity? Think again.

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A common misconception is that an “enchanted forest” is beautiful and fun. In fact they are terrifying and represent the true entropy of nature. They are destruction incarnate and the closest you will ever get to the primal fear of your ancestors

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Hey kids, you want to know who really went "sicko mode?"

Jesus Christ

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A clown car is a motor vehicle that runs on clown blood, marrow, and greasepaint

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(eyes narrowed in suspicion) so how exactly *did* this, "Yoshi," survive a mass extinction event that killed off the rest of this species

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Trying to reverse whatever spell someone cast to permit the orb to escape its eternal prison known as Nintendo's "Marble Madness" and start walking amongst us in the real world of online

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Guillotines Inc.

General Communism, writing, and shitposts.